The scene of a movie I was watching recently involved two teenagers talking to one another. Their respective single parents were dating. One of the teenagers said ‘My mother really likes you, you know'.
What was happening here? One teenager was trying to help the other understand the real mindset of a third party - in this case, the parent. The teenager doing the talking, perhaps sub-consciously, wondered whether the real intentions of her mother were being interpreted correctly.
That's because the intentions driving behaviours can be interpreted in different ways.
This is never more true than in the workplace.
When a staff member offers to help a manager by taking on extra duties, what do other staff believe is the real driving force behind that offer?
When a boss asks for volunteers to join a new working committee, what do staff believe is the manager's real agenda?
When a middle manager suggests that a staff member ought to attend an industry training session, what does that staff member believe is driving this?
In each of these scenarios, both a positive and negative spin can be put on these actions. Is the staff member offering to take on extra duties trying to ‘win-over' a boss, or are they simply sensitive to the workload of others? Is a boss who asks for volunteers for a committee playing a game to see who is prepared to roll their sleeves up, or are they genuinely trying to delegate?
What people perceive as the real intentions driving the behaviours of another person in turn impacts heavily on their own behaviours. For example, if I believe a boss is being friendly to me simply because he wants me to take on extra duties, then it is less likely I will respond positively.
Similarly, if I work with a person struggling to cope - and I believe that person is genuine and is constantly there to support others, then it is highly likely I will offer to help them.
The UGRs (unwritten ground rules) in a team help people to interpret intentions that drive behaviours. These can help in both positive and negative ways.
If there is a UGR in a team that says ‘Around here, bosses don't care about staff', then friendly overtures by leaders will be interpreted as having ulterior motives. People are likely to be highly suspicious of the real intentions of those managers.
If there is a UGR in a team that says ‘Around here, initiative is valued, irrespective of the source', then a person taking a calculated risk is not going to be seen in a negative light.
UGRs are deduced by people looking at the alignment between what people say and what they do. If there is a lack of alignment, then negative UGRs will be created. Perhaps negative interpretations can be minimised by being more open about the real intentions driving behaviours - and by being brutally honest about these.
